Broken Ties 2

The worst feeling you can have is when your belief and your trust is torn to pieces. To have your heart strings pulled apart because someone you cared for or trusted or looked up to has left you is sometimes unbearable. Whether leaving is dying or simply not existing in your life, the pain is a reality that many struggle to deal with.

To go from celebrating every moment of a friendship with coffees, luncheons, movies, trips away and general banter, to trying to remember when the last time you saw that person is a harsh factor for some of todays youth. But due to the "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" concept they follow on, it is very rare to find people that dont get affected by the factors of life and its toll on friendship. But lets leave that aside, what about other relationships? A friend of mine has never been that close to her brother but has told me that even if that were the case, when the factor of a partner came into their life, she felt more abandoned by him than before. There are others that their lack of concern is consistent issue and even when you a completely aware of it, it pangs somewhere deep inside.

Cinema is my way of escaping this pain of mine. A psychiatrist may examine me and say that I should have vented things on my mind, instead of bottling it up. I have seen its outcome in that I lash out at people that mean the world to me. But whatever the situation was, I wanted the happiness I felt and more importantly, that was experienced by those around me to continue. It got to such an extent that when I felt left out, I would sit in a corner or away from the crowd and just watch them. Without saying what I felt. My mother once said that I was an attention seeker because of this attitude/behaviour. I, on the other hand, felt that I was just being human and wanted to be happy, with happy people. Even at this age now, I feel ashamed that this behaviour comes up, because I should know who is important to me and who I am important to. However, this pitfall does subside quickly and then the other one of why pops up. 


I guess to know that this person was apart of your life and then due to whatever reasoning, that happiness/bond that you shared wont ever come back is an event some may never get over. Some people can. I don't think this has to do with your upbringing, gender, or background. But what is concerning is the speed in which life is progressing for those around me. Or is how slow I'm going.